The Truth About Marriage as per L-Mani Viney

Okay, I just got another Life Lesson. Probably the most important one that I'll ever receive. But just to give credit where credit is due, these are NOT the words of TrueLogic1914. These are the words of a fellow greek that he knows by the name of L-Mani Viney. Frater Viney is a member of Kappa alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc and he is married with a son and a daughter. He and his family reside in New Jersey. So these are ALL his words from start to finish. I just happen to believe each and every one of them. With that said, let us get into the core of this topic.


Lets get into this.

To be clear. This is only MY truth from My Experiences. You can agree or disagree and I'm kool with that, but they are MY experiences.

The Truth about Marriage ~ Ten (10) specific points

1. Married people lie.
They put on fronts for people to believe how good it is. Until all of a sudden they get divorced. This eff's up single people because they oftentimes base their philosophy on marriage on what their friends display. The truth. It's hard. It's an emotional grind.

2. There is a fine line between someone worth marrying or long term dating.
Heard of six degree's of separation? Try one. That's all it takes. One degree of difference between someone being worthy of being with for the rest of your life or just dating. One of the reasons divorce is so high is because people measure the qualifications for marriage on linear time and effort put in. Nope sorry. Just because you put time in doesn't mean that persons for you.

3. Exterior and Superficial Qualifications don't make for a happy marriage.

So what you cook. So what you clean. So what he has a job and so what she looks good or is good in bed. Those things are nice but they become inconsequential when your with the same person day in and day out. You better come to the table with more than that. Do you support his or her dreams. Are you an enabler to their success, do you like (forget love) and respect each other? Answer those.

4. Marry off the things you don't have in common and not the ones you do.

No one ever gets divorced off the things you have in common. So you better respect the things you don't and ask yourself whether or not you can live with those differences for the rest of your life. If you can't, move on.

5. Marriage is a business partnership. Period.

A prosperous marriage is one in which both parties see eye to eye in regards to their individual and family future. Regardless of how in love you may be, if your financial and business goals are not aligned it will not last. Because it would require one or the other to sacrifice their dreams.

6. Cheating does happen.

And? No one is going to be honest about whether they did it or not. But it does happen. We have all seen it, so lets not play stupid. While absolutely wrong and a disrespect to the spouse it doesn't mean the other person wants to leave their wife or husband. Not at all.

7. Some people are more in love with the idea of being married or the idea of the wedding day than they are the person.
It's a very powerful image. You are the star of the day. Or everyone sees the ring. Or you see the family with the kids. And you say to yourself "I want that!" and you project that image so strong that you put it on the person that gives you that opportunity, regardless of whether or not they deserve it.

8. Real marriages don't live in cliches.
I hate them I hate them I hate them. No its about what you do day to day. Cliches get you nowhere. When you have a wife, kids, a mortgage that's real world stuff. Cliches are one size fits all explanations from people that have never been married. So leave them alone.

9. Married people in good marriages understand how quick they can turn bad.

It's work. 24/7. Your under no illusion it's good today but can become bad the next. SO you work at it and stay humble realizing you dont have all the answers and you're going to make mistakes, but as long as you each see eye to eye on the larger goals everything else you can work through.

10. Finding the perfect spouse is pure luck.

Talk all the science and read all the books you want. Its luck period. If it wasn't luck than everyone that went to a good college should be married. Or everyone that flows in certain circles should be too. But it doesn't work that way. There is only ONE of you on this planet, and what your asking yourself to do is find someone else that can be compatible to YOU and YOU to them. Yeah good luck with that.

Lastly let me say this. These are my opinions. Mine only. Single folk take em or leave em. But I wrote this because too many people have superficial and unrealistic thoughts about what marriage is. Its not easy and its not easy to find that one. Its rough its hard and not for everybody.

Now as a man who is not married, I can say without hesitation that I have heard [in some form or another] #1, #3, #5, #6, #7 and #10. I have not ever heard #9 before but it makes perfect sense. So I will definitely be following these words as words to consider as I continue to search for the one who is for me. Let's just hope that she is not suffering from #7 and that she is NOT unrealistic about marriage.

These are the words of TrueLogic1914 via Kappa man, L-Mani Viney of New Jersey.